Even people with exceptional talents can feel insecure and struggle with low or unhealthy self-esteem.

Meryl Streep, for example, has said, “I have varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing….

“You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent… Or that you’re boring and they’re going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

This is not an isolated feeling or an issue for only a few talented people.

Over the many years of researching creative people and reading many interviews with high ability people, I have seen quotes like Streep’s showing up often.

Actor Shia LaBeouf thinks it is a common issue:

“Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew, I’d fill it, and I’d be on my way.”

From post Shia LaBeouf on fame and meaning and insecurity

LaBeouf, by the way, was accepted to Yale University but declined, saying that he is “getting the kind of education you don’t get at school.”

A British newspaper article says Helen Mirren “has talked of how insecure she has felt nearly all her life.”

And she said “I still get insecure.”

[From Helen Mirren: off the wall, by Lucy Cavendish, The Telegraph telegraph.co.uk 20 Jan 2008]

Mirren also said in her memoir that she “went to a shrink once. When I was about twenty-three I was very unhappy and, yes, self-obsessed and insecure.”

From post Helen Mirren on miserable self obsession.

Hilary Swank spent her childhood in a trailer park and has said, “I was a troubled kid. I felt like an outsider. I didn’t feel like I belonged, especially in the classroom. I just wish that I would have been more secure.”

Will Smith admits, “I still doubt myself every single day. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear.”

[Also quoted in post The Self-Esteem Supercharger.]

John Lennon and self esteem

John Lennon once said, “Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.”

[Also used in my post Elaine Aron on our emotional challenges.]

Writer Larry Kane commented about his bio Lennon Revealed: “People would be surprised at how insecure John Lennon was, and his lack of self esteem.

“Throughout his life, even during the height of Beatle mania, he had poor self esteem, even though he exuded confidence.”

Self esteem is positive self-regard, a realistic acknowledgment of our talents and value as a person.

Maybe it is the primary antidote we can have to insecurity.

Authentic esteem is not the superficial efforts over recent years to make all children in school feel they are “special” – with high [often bloated] self-esteem falsely nurtured by school administrators who say things like “We don’t want anyone to feel left out, so everyone wins a spelling bee award” or “The valedictorian will be chosen by lottery.”

Many gifted and talented people feel insecure

Psychologist Roy F. Baumeister, PhD [in his article: The Lowdown on High Self-Esteem] notes that people with inflated high self-esteem “think they make better impressions, have stronger friendships and better romantic lives.. but the data don’t support their self-flattering views.”

But many gifted and talented people suffer at times from a lack of healthy self esteem.

Another example: Nobel Prize laureate poet and writer Czeslaw Milosz confessed: “From early on writing for me has been a way to overcome my real or imagined worthlessness.”

Stephanie S. Tolan – co-author of the book Guiding the Gifted Child – finds that “Many gifted adults seem to know very little about their minds and how they differ from more ‘ordinary’ minds. The result of this lack of self-knowledge is often low, sometimes cripplingly low self esteem.”

[From her article Self-Knowledge, Self-Esteem and the Gifted Adult.]

Marilyn J. Sorensen, PhD, author of the book Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem, says “People with low self-esteem generally find themselves at one of the extremes of achievement, either as an overachiever or as an underachiever.

“Some take the road of continually channeling their energies into attempts to receive recognition, approval, and affirmation, and become highly successful in their careers and educational endeavors; they are driven; they are ‘overachievers.’ Others slink back in fear, never realizing their skills or talents.”

Pursuing healthy esteem

So how to counteract and change unhealthy self esteem?

A start is to honestly recognize your abilities and accomplishments, without qualifying or deflating them, as in “Oh, anyone could do that.”

Another effective approach is the cognitive therapy strategy of getting aware of demeaning statements – especially automatic thoughts – you make about yourself (or accept from others), such as “I’m no good at doing that…” – then arguing the logic, validity, merits and faults of the statement, such as: “Well, maybe I am not as skilled as whoever.. but I have been told my work is good and I can get better if I choose to work at it.”

Overcoming impostor feelings

Also related to insecurity is the reaction that a number of talented actors and other people talk about: feeling oneself to be an “impostor.”

Research into this impostor phenomenon or syndrome began with the work of psychotherapists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who found many women with notable achievements also had high levels of self-doubt which could not be equated with self-esteem, anxiety, or other traits, and seemed to involve a deep sense of inauthenticity and an inability to internalize their successes.

They often had the belief they were “fooling” other people, were “faking it” or getting by from having the right contacts or just being “lucky.” Many held a belief they would be exposed as frauds or fakes.

[From my article Gifted Women: Identity and Expression.]

Not just lack of confidence

Dr. Valerie Young has written about the topic for years, and explains “The Impostor Syndrome goes beyond lack of confidence.

“Everyone experiences bouts of self-doubt from time to time and especially when attempting something new.

“But for impostors self-doubt is chronic. You can feel self-doubt without experiencing shame at performing poorly as impostor do.

“It’s also possible to doubt your abilities without believing that you ultimately succeeded because of some sleight of hand or that you are fooling others.

“A person could have normal jitters before, say getting up to give their first speech, do well, and then draw from this experience to feel more confident about the next time.

“The impostor doesn’t think this way.

“Because no matter how well you did or how loud the applause, you always think you could have done better or that you just had a ‘good audience’ with no real bump in confidence.”

She includes a number of quotes in her book that exemplify impostor feelings and thinking, such as these:

Meryl Streep: “You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie?’ And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”  Award-winning author Maya Angelou.

“Somewhere, deep inside, you don’t believe what they say. You think it’s a matter of time before you stumble and ‘they’ discover the truth.” Former CEO of Girls, Inc. Joyce Roché

“At any time I still expect that the no-talent police will come and arrest me.” Mike Myers

From book: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, by Dr. Valerie Young.

Our mindset

She notes that “Twenty years of well documented research by leading expert in motivation and personality psychology Carol Dweck and author of my new favorite book Mindset, confirms what I’ve been saying for years.

“Namely that for better or for worse, your perceptions of what it takes to be competent, has a powerful impact on how you measure yourself and therefore how you approach achievement itself.”

Dr. Young adds, “This kind of chronic self-doubt robs you of your successes and ultimately your own happiness and fulfillment.”

She has developed an ebook program to deal with the Impostor Syndrome titled
How to Feel As Bright and Capable As Everyone Seems to Think You Are.

Beating ourselves up by comparisons with idols and icons

Creativity coach and psychologist Eric Maisel thinks “It is a poignant feature of our species that we can contemplate intellectual work that we can’t quite accomplish…

“It is also natural that we will experience emotional pain when we recognize that the work that we would love to do, whether it is physics at the highest level or constitutional law at the highest level or psychological fiction at the highest level or biological research at the highest level is, if not completely unavailable to us, just unavailable enough to make it doubtful that we can proceed and just unavailable enough to make our efforts feel like torture.”

[Photo: Elodie Ghedin, Parasitologist/Virologist and a 2011 MacArthur Fellow.]

He asks, “How many smart people end up torturing themselves to the point of institutionalization over the fact that they can’t turn out poetry as brilliant as the poetry produced by their idols, can’t solve that mathematical problem that has thwarted all the biggest brains…?

“You can torture yourself in this fashion and threaten your mental health or you can surrender to nature’s ways.”

From his post The Smart Gap – How to deal with painful shortfalls in brainpower, by Eric Maisel, Ph.D.

One of his books: Mastering Creative Anxiety: 24 Lessons for Writers, Painters, Musicians, and Actors from America’s Foremost Creativity Coach.

Also read more about his program Infinite Meaning: The Breakthrough of Noimetic Psychology
Course Overview: “You can’t find the meaning of life – it never was lost! Meaning never was something to be found in a philosophy, a religion, a belief system, or a way of life. Rather, meaning is a psychological experience. And because it is a psychological experience, you can create it.”

More resources:

Self concept / self esteem articles

Related posts:

Exceptional, gifted adults without enough positive self-regard.

Being Creative and Self-critical.

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Many multitalented people feel inspired and energized to pursue multiple creative projects, often at the same time. One potential downside is physical and emotional burnout.

Jennifer Westfeldt wrote, produced and acted in “Kissing Jessica Stein” and “Ira & Abby.” For her new movie “Friends With Kids,” she not only wrote the screenplay, acted and produced (along with other people, including her long time partner, actor Jon Hamm), she also directed the “two-year, round-the-clock endeavor” as a Los Angeles Times article describes it – not an uncommonly demanding schedule for movies.

“I must have been crazy to have donned so many hats,” Westfeldt said. “It made good sense for me to direct it, since I was involved in every aspect anyway. But I’m not sure I’d ever do it again.”

Burnout

The image above comes from the post “When Life Loses Its Meaning: The Heavy Price of High Achievement” by Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D. on her blog High Octane Women.

She quotes this passage from the 1980 book, “Burn-Out: The High Cost of Achievement” by Dr. Herbert Freudenberger, who was, she says, the “first person to describe the syndrome known as burnout”…

Continued: Multiple Talents, Multiple Passions, Burnout

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Being highly intelligent can impact social and sexual relationships for many people, growing up and as adults.

The character ‘Dr. Lisa Cuddy’ on the tv series “House” finds Dr. House (Hugh Laurie) “hot.” The actor who plays Cuddy, Lisa Edelstein, was asked if she would you be attracted “to a guy like him” and replied, “Yeah, I like smarty-pants. It’s sexy when a guy is that witty and bright. Even at the cost of social skills.”

From post: Gifted relationships: Sex appeal and smarty-pants.

But high ability people are often introverted, which can make it more difficult to relate or mate. Giftedness expert Lesley Sword says introverts “form the majority of gifted people” in her article The Gifted Introvert.

In her article “Can You Hear The Flowers Sing? Issues for Gifted Adults,” Deirdre V. Lovecky, Ph.D. notes that many gifted adults “are lonely because of a lack of true peers.”

From my post Gifted adults: Relationships for exceptional people.

High Intelligence Specialist Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D. notes “The level of giftedness has a profound effect on how comfortable in different situations the young person will be…”

From post: Dr. Deborah L. Ruf on raising gifted kids for positive relationships.

What about sex?

Here are excerpts from the article “Study: IQ linked to virginity” By Leslie Finlay, The Daily Collegian:

Recent studies on sexual activity among adolescents and young adults show that being an “average Joe” may have benefits outside of the classroom.

The studies show that female and male adolescents with an IQ score either below 70 or above 110 are more likely to be virgins.

Adolescents with IQ scores ranging from 70 to 110 had the lowest probability of virginity, according to two researchers from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The average IQ score is 90 to 110.

Mariah Mantsun Cheng, a research associate, and J. Richard Udry, professor of maternal and child health and sociology, both from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, conducted the study. They discovered that 39.8 percent of boys with an average IQ score have had sex while 29.2 percent of boys with an IQ above 110 have had sex.

They also found that 63.3 percent of adolescent men and 81.6 percent of women with IQ scores below average have never had sex and most have had fewer experiences of romantic attraction.

Another study in Gene Expression Magazine entitled “Intercourse and Intelligence” confirms this data, citing research that shows a bell-shaped relationship between IQ scores and sex.

According to the research, an adolescent with an IQ score of 100 was 1.5 to 5 times more likely to have had intercourse than an adolescent with an above average score of about 120 to 130.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) along with nationwide university studies support this research. …

[Article continues.]

Intelligence vs family influence

This photo of a teen couple is from the article Why don’t smart teens have sex? (Prevention Action, 5 October 2011), which quotes researchers at two U.S. universities who say intelligence is linked to age at first sex by environmental differences between families.

“Families who, on average, have higher intelligence also delay, on average, initiating sexual activity, but twins raised in the same family who differ in their intellectual capacities do not differ in their age at first sex.

“Thus, it is not intelligence, per se, that results in delayed sexual activity; rather, intelligence represents a proxy variable for socioenvironmental differences between families that are associated with both higher average levels of intelligence in family members and later average ages at first sex.”

In her article Sex and the Highly Gifted Adolescent, Annette Revel Sheely (at the time, a counselor at the Gifted Development Center), writes about a number of aspects of teen sexuality:

“Many parents find it difficult to acknowledge their adolescent’s emerging sexuality. Yet they are the very people who can be most influential in guiding their teen towards a positive adult sexuality.

“In any family, this emergence can be quite a challenge. For families with highly gifted adolescents, however, it can be especially confusing. Some characteristics innate to the highly gifted can complicate an adolescent’s developing sexuality. These include asynchrony (either early or late sexual development), social isolation, sensual overexcitability, and androgyny.”

Annette Revel Sheely is a contributor to the book High IQ Kids: Collected Insights, Information, and Personal Stories from the Experts.

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Upper photo [for illustration - I just like it; it is not directly related to the topic of this post]: Women engineering students at Brown Univ., from Brown Engineering News.

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By Emilie Wapnick

The other day, someone mentioned that throughout their life, they’ve used their multipotentialite pursuits as a way of growing their confidence.

In other words, by diving into new things and acquiring new skills, they’ve learned to believe in themselves more as a person.

I’ve never thought about it that way, but it makes sense.

It’s pretty damn hard to develop your confidence if you’re not pursuing your passions.

Getting out and exploring your interests helps you feel better about yourself much faster than sitting at home and trying to convince yourself of how rad you are.

My basic theory is that there are two forms of confidence: there’s contextual confidence, which means believing in your ability in one particular area (driving a car, drawing, public speaking, etc.)

Contextual confidence comes with practice. You start something new, suck for a while, and then with practice, you get better, stop sucking, and start feeling good about your proficiency in that area.

And then there’s core confidence: the way you feel about yourself as a person.

Core confidence is knowing that even if a path is totally new to you, you’ll find a way. You might not know how to do it yet, but you’ll figure it out. It’s trusting that your character and resourcefulness will carry you through.

Having core confidence allows you to take more risks and try out new things. You know that you’re going to fail at first, but that doesn’t phase you because failure in one area doesn’t impact your sense of self-worth as a person.

Of course, the two types of confidence are inextricably connected. It’s hard not to feel a bad about yourself as a person when you get laid off from a job or when a relationship ends.

We’re only human. But from what I’ve seen, people who believe in their self worth apart from the things they have in their lives, tend to bounce back faster when those things disappear.

Having strong core confidence is super important for multipotentialites since it’s what allows you to try new things more often (to “fail fast and iterate,” as they say). When you have core confidence, you’re more likely to pursue your interests in spite of the fear, and thus develop contextual confidence in that area faster.

As you develop skill in that new area, that contextual confidence can then be transformed back into core confidence. Think about it like a bank account. Say you’ve got a number of subaccounts in your savings account.

As you accumulate money, you can choose to leave that money in those subaccounts, or you can transfer it to your main savings account (your core confidence).

It’s the idea of stacking your small wins. Take every small accomplishment in your various pursuits and change the meaning from “gee I’m pretty good at _______,” to “look at how I took myself from point A to point B!” It’s not about that specific accomplishment, it’s about what it says about you.

How has your confidence affected your multipotentiality, and vice versa?

Your pal and fellow multipotentialite,

Emilie

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Article from her newsletter – republished here with permission.

See more articles by Emilie Wapnick – and more Multitalented posts.

Emilie Wapnick says: “I don’t like labels, but if I had to describe myself, I’d probably use some combination of entrepreneur, writer, speaker, and coach. I also play the violin, I’m developing a television pilot, and I occasionally design a website or two. But all of this could change tomorrow…” (From her site.)

Emilie is author of the program: Renaissance Business – Designed Specifically for the Multi-Passionate Entrepreneur.

~~

Added by Douglas Eby:

Photo at top from Inner Entrepreneur post Creating money: The inner and outer work of financial goals by Molly Gordon.

Over the years of reading biographies and interviews with many highly talented and creative people, it has often struck me how many of them talk about being self- critical and having poor self-esteem.

For example, writer Larry Kane commented about his bio on musician, singer-songwriter, poet, writer, visual artist John Lennon: “People would be surprised at how insecure he was, and his lack of self esteem. Throughout his life, even during the height of Beatle mania, he had poor self esteem, even though he exuded confidence.”

Lennon reportedly said about his conflicted feelings, “I’ve always been a freak…all my life and I have to live with that, you know…Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty…You’re just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway.”

Quotes from my book Developing Multiple Talents – The personal side of creative expression.

Photo from post Gifted and talented but with insecurity and low self esteem.

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By Mariana Ashley

Bill Bradley, retired NBA player, US Senator, and US presidential candidate, said “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.”

Any high-ability student knows the truth of this quote, as they have likely received accolades, awards, and praise for their efforts and ambitions.

But these students also know the darker side of ambition, the side known only by the few who walk that path and have seen its thorns and shadows.

The truth is that ambition, and the skill that it takes to pursue that ambition, often leaves people lonely, excluded, and alienated from everyday events.

> Continued: The Emotional Cost of High Ability in Young Adults, By Mariana Ashley

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Video: You think you’re so smart.

A number of movies include gifted and talented characters, and depict a variety of characteristics that are positive and relate to exceptional abilities, but also can generate not so positive reactions – such as “You think you’re so smart,” or, “You’re too verbal… too bossy… too nerdy… too sensitive.”

And, of course, we may still experience some of those reactions as adults.

Movie clips in this video include Matilda (1996, with Mara Wilson, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman); Phoebe in Wonderland (2008, Elle Fanning, Patricia Clarkson); Little Man Tate (1991, directed by and starring Jodie Foster, with Dianne Wiest, Adam Hann-Byrd);  Akeelah and the Bee (2006, Keke Palmer, Laurence Fishburne); Bridge to Terabithia (2007, Josh Hutcherson, AnnaSophia Robb, Zooey Deschanel).

Photo: Elle Fanning in Phoebe in Wonderland, from post: Our high sensitivity personality: normalcy, wholeness, acceptance. [She is also outstanding in the newer movie Somewhere, directed by Sofia Coppola.]

Short list of gifted characteristics in video from article What is giftedness all about? – by Linda Kreger Silverman, Ph.D., Gifted Development Center.

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Video: Gifted adults are different from an early age

One clip here is from the movie Nancy Drew, based on the books about the talented girl detective.

Gifted children like Nancy are different and divergent in their thinking, interests, values and behavior.

And many gifted adults still feel wrong or anxious about not fitting in even though being different can be a strength.

In Nancy Drew, the heroine (played with style and grace by Emma Roberts) uses and celebrates her intuitive and intellectual abilities as a teen sleuth, and accepts the fact she is exceptional, and does not fit in with her high school peers mainly concerned with cliques, clothes and boys.

Many gifted children and gifted adults are considered “eccentric.”

[Another clip: Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch (in glasses) in Ghost World” (2001). The director Terry Zwigoff commented that when he met Johansson, he thought, “OK, she’s 15, but she could easily pass for 30. She’s a very attractive girl, but she’s sort of a weirdo. I like that about her.”

In her article Counseling Gifted Adults A Case Study, counselor Paula Prober writes about Susan, who had known that she was different since she was seven. Her thoughts and feelings had never fit into the box that was comfortable and reassuring for most children.

Her appetite for learning was insatiable. Reading was more nourishing than food. Thinking, analyzing, and synthesizing were better than Barbie. And she worried about everything: poverty, world peace, the loss of the rain forests. It kept her awake at night. To her classmates, she just seemed weird certainly not birthday party material.

The article continues, All of these reactions confused and saddened Susan but no one was explaining to her that she was different because she was gifted: She had a mind running deeper and faster than most.

Like many gifted adults, she rediscovered herself as gifted later in life, but also felt a strong need for emotional help, as Prober writes: “At age 52, Susan came to therapy. Raising her teenaged son, John, had forced her to confront herself. John had been identified as gifted in preschool. Susan started reading about gifted children and was quite surprised to find that she was reading about herself.”

The image (in video) is from the book Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential, which can help people understand some of the emotional and social aspects of being gifted.

Short list of gifted characteristics from video: Dr. Linda Karges-Bone about gifted children.

Also see Self-tests : giftedness / high ability

List of other films: Hoagies’ Gifted: Movies Featuring Gifted Kids (and Adults!)

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The ‘gifted’ label & the pressure to deliver

In his book “Your Own Worst Enemy..”, psychologist Kenneth W. Christian, PhD delineates some of the most prominent patterns of thinking and behavior he has found that may lead to undermining and underachievement as adults.

“Without explicit demands and support, being labeled ‘bright’ or ‘gifted’ is akin to being conferred an aristocratic lineage — a heritage that exists independently of what you do with it.

“The difference is that the labels ‘bright’ and ‘gifted’ come with implicit demands, and when appropriate explicit demands are lacking, the labels sit there like ticking bombs.

“On the one hand, these labels tell you that merely being bright or talented is enough, but on the other hand, the longer you go being praised for talent alone, the more anxious you become about the time when you will be required to deliver.”

Hanging on to a limiting self-concept

Another aspect is how our identity and self concept informs personal development:

“We can be particularly resistant to change when it threatens to alter what we believe about ourselves. In his 1948 book, The Theory of Self-Consistency, Prescott Lecky argues that people prefer retaining a consistent view of who they are to changing that view, even if the change would be positive.

“As we have seen, the idea of who you are resides at the center of your sense of reality. It is part of the glue that holds your reality together.

“You believe that if you know anything, you know yourself. And you feel you know the way you behave and what is possible for you. …

Choosing new actions

“The problem is not, has never been, and never will be, who you are. The problem is always what you choose to do.”

He describes how “Self Limiting High Potential Persons.. etch enduring pathways over time by repeating their characteristic self-defeating methods… this tendency can evolve into a general self-limiting style…

“Certain actions you have taken habitually have short-circuited your success. Change begins with noticing your ability to choose new actions and then acting.”

[Some of these self-limiting patterns are described on the page Self-limiting.]

Self development – A thrilling odyssey

Christian says “Pulling back from your potential, at the most fundamental level, is a kind of abdication, an abandoment of your own best interests.

“Achieving self-development, on the other hand, is not only life’s central mission — it can also be the most thrilling odyssey there is.”

From the book: Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement – by Kenneth W. Christian, PhD.

Striving for achievement – an interview with Kenneth Christian, by Douglas Eby.

Video: Break out and Achieve Your Potential

Get free access to Ultimate Success Blueprint training videos by Kenneth W. Christian, Ph.D.

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Lower photo from article: How do beliefs produce “driven,” compulsive behavior, By Morty Lefkoe. – “Why are so many of us “driven” compulsively to seek or do things that frequently aren’t in our own best self-interest?”

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Kenneth Christian, adult underachievement, adult development books, gifted adult development

By Lisa Erickson, MS, LMHC

Lisbeth Salander is the fictional heroine of Steig Larsson’s trilogy The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.

As the heroine, Lisbeth Salander embodies certain characteristics of giftedness, and these characteristics help her survive terrible, long-term physical, sexual and emotional abuse.

What helps Lisbeth Salander survive her ordeals?

Good problem solving skills mediate trauma.

Lisbeth Salander survives traumas that might lead to addiction or the suicide of a less resilient character. Giftedness contributes to her resiliency by aiding her problem solving, which increases her ability to cope.

> Continued: 3 Things To Learn From The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – A Gifted Trauma Survivor

Brendon Burchard

In their article What Is Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy?, Drs. Phillip and Jane Mountrose note, “Many gifted individuals have expertise to share and this may include you.

“The issue is how to make your expertise into a profitable business. Experts Academy with Brendon Burchard solves this problem. His goal is to turn you into a generously paid expert.

“As we all know, there are a lot of things we didn’t learn in the classroom. The educational system misses areas that are essential for success in life and in business. And millions of men and women are seeking the help of experts who can take them where they want to be in their personal and professional lives.

“You might imagine that this is where Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy comes in. Maybe you never thought of yourself as a highly skilled expert before. But your life experience is your expertise.”

From Inner Entrepreneur post Publish your expertise to help other people.

“I still have pretty much the same fears I had as a kid. I’m not sure I’d want to give them up; a lot of these insecurities fuel the movies I make.” Steven Spielberg

There can be many flavors of insecurity, self-criticism, stress and anxiety related to being gifted, talented and creative.

Some experiences, such as a degree of perfectionism, may help refine our talents.

Some anxieties – like an overbearing level of perfectionism – can be crippling.

n an interview about his new book Mastering Creative Anxiety, creativity coach and psychologist Eric Maisel, PhD comments, “First of all, so much is on the line. For someone who’s self-identified as a writer, painter, composer, scientist, inventor, and so on, [their] identity and ego are wrapped up in how well [they create] – and when what we do matters that much, we naturally get anxious.”

Michele Kane, Ed.D., an Associate Professor and the President of the Illinois Association for Gifted Children, gave a presentation on Stress and Anxiety: Helping Gifted Kids Cope – which also has helpful perspectives for us adults.

She points out that stress is universal and experienced by everyone, and that “Being bright, talented, creative, motivated, smart, ambitious, and even good looking can add to the stress in your life.”

“Academic success and drive aren’t enough to make life manageable. The world is too complicated and intense, and it’s changing too fast.”

She notes “There are no easy answers, simple solutions, or quick fixes for managing stress” but says, “You can learn to understand why your life gets oppressive, depressive, stressed or otherwise unhealthy. You can learn to live in a new and better way.”

Here is more from her presentation:

Sources of Stress for Gifted People

SITUATIONAL
conflict between our values and the values of others (what is and what ought to be)
interpersonal disharmony
lack of intellectual stimulation or challenge
challenges beyond our capability to respond
threats to emotional or physical well-being
lack of resources to accomplish a task
time constraints

SELF-IMPOSED
setting excessively high standards for ourselves
fear of failure
fear of success
negative self-talk
emotionally loaded/highly evaluative beliefs about ourselves and our environment
believing that everyone should love, respect, and praise us
buying into others’ negative evaluations of us
catastrophizing
worrying

EXISTENTIAL
global concerns (e.g., nuclear disaster, war, poverty, world hunger, the environment, etc.)
idealism
anger at fate
isolation
need for meaning and purpose

Strategies to Help Gifted Kids with Stress

• Share resources for meditation and visualization; explain the effect on the body
• Explain the biology of stress; determine which how the body sends signals
• Encourage deep breathing and exercise to minimize personal stress
• Supply biographies of notables that were able to resolve personal situations
• Promote experiences in nature as a way to self-soothe

For much more, see the PDF of her presentation: Stress and Anxiety: Helping Gifted Kids Cope – and the site of The Gifted Education Cooperative.

More strategies to relieve stress and anxiety

Eric Maisel notes that in his book Mastering Creative Anxiety, he presents “a menu of twenty-two effective anxiety management tools, enough tools that everyone can find at least one or two that will work well.

“The simplest is to remember to breathe; a few deep cleansing breaths can do wonders for reducing anxiety. The most important anxiety management tool is probably cognitive work, where you change the things you say to yourself, turning anxious thoughts into calmer, more productive thoughts.

“And creating a lifestyle that supports calmness is also very important: if the way you live your life produces a lot of anxiety, that’s a tremendous extra burden on your nervous system.”

Some of my related posts:

Creative Anxiety – So Much On The Line

Managing Creative Anxiety: Change Your Thinking

Sensitive to anxiety

Guided Imagery and Emotional Health

More resources

PureCalm is an herbal remedy I use occasionally for anxiety and irritability

Anxiety Relief Solutions site – a variety of non-drug products, programs

Guided imagery and biofeedback program developed by Doctors Deepak Chopra, Dean Ornish and Andrew Weil: Relaxing Rhythms Guided Training Program

Article: Creative intellect as a marker for genetic predisposition to high anxiety conditions, By Charles Linden – “Our data shows us that anxiety sufferers all share a superior level of creative intellect.”

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